Kids Say the Darndest Things
by CaptainSwanShipper
Summary: Regina is thinking about Henry when a tiny intruder finds her...Originally posted on my tumblr on February 21st, 2014.


She'd been sitting on a stump in the Enchanted Forest wondering what Henry was doing at that point in time when a little voice had piped up behind her. "Who are you?"

Starting, Regina turned, half-expecting it to be Henry thanks to her musings. Instead, she came face-to-face with a much younger child than Henry, no more than 4 years old. She recognized him from the band of Merry Men, but couldn't remember his name…

"Hello," she cautiously greeted him.

"So who are you?" the child asked again.

Having recovered from the slight surprise she'd experienced when she'd heard him, Regina stood and turned to look at him completely, crossing her arms.

"It's rather rude to demand someone answer your questions without introducing yourself first," she told him dryly.

"I'm Roland," the boy answered, not perturbed in the least. "So who are you?"

"My name is Regina," the evil queen told the precocious child.

"Papa says you're very important to the Queen. Why?" he asked with a cock of his head.

Regina considered her answers. She didn't really owe the kid any explanation. Then again, she might as well establish her position in the new Enchanted Forest…"I'm her stepmother," she answered simply.

"No you're not," Roland stated bluntly.

Regina blinked at the vehemence of the boy's response. "I think I know who I am," she answered.

"Roland! Where are you?" a voice came out of the trees to Regina's right. She turned her head slightly, keeping the moppet in her peripheral vision while the owner of the voice stepped into her line of sight—it was a trick she'd learned as a busy single mother with an energetic little boy of her own.

Robin Hood stepped out of the woods and walked over to Roland with a grin. "There you are!" he exclaimed.

When he reached his son, he got down on one knee so that his face was level with the boy's. "What do you think you're doing, young man?" he asked playfully.

"Talking to Regina," Roland told him.

"Queen Regina," Robin corrected him. "And what were you two talking about?"

"He asked me how I knew Snow White," Regina replied wryly.

Robin looked at his son with a questioning expression. The dark-haired child nodded vigorously. "She says she's her stepmother," Roland answered seriously.

"So she is," his father said.

"But she's not," Roland protested.

A confused look crossed Robin's face. "And why do you say that?"

"She's too pretty," the boy answered seriously.

The outlaw blinked in surprise. "What do you mean?" he asked carefully.

"You always say stepmothers are ugly, evil, old ladies," Roland pointed out. "But she isn't any of that."

Regina raised an eyebrow at the child's explanation. Robin looked up at her and, seeing the eyebrow, gave a nervous laugh as a light flush came to his face. He turned back to his son.

"Well, I suppose you have a point, there, Roland," he commented.

Taken aback by the indirect compliment, Regina wasn't sure how to respond. So she decided to put it to the back of her mind until she had more time to think about it. Instead, she addressed the boy's words. "I am her stepmother, though, Roland," she told him, "In fact, I actually am evil—"

"No you're not," Roland denied.

"But I am," Regina repeated.

"_No you're not_," the child persisted. The evil queen felt he was on the edge of a temper tantrum. Apparently, his father noticed it, too. He scooped his son up and strided toward the opposite side of the clearing. Regina could see Roland start wriggling in protest to his father's heavy-handed actions, his little voice becoming less understandable and increasing in volume with each step.

Close to the tree line, Robin suddenly turned the boy upside down. Roland's protests instantly quieted, turned to giggles, and then into full-blown laughter.

Regina couldn't stop the slight grin that turned up the edges of her mouth as she observed their departure. It seemed there wouldn't be a boring day here anytime soon…


End file.
